Natural Wonders

Natural Wonders
The Four Natural Wonders of My World, in the beginning...

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Mama Guilt

I wish I were a better mom.

I never really cared about having kids of my own until my husband talked me into it. I have five younger brothers and sisters and helped take care of them enough that I didn't want the bother anymore once I grew up and left home.

Of course my husband wanted children so after we got married we had a beautiful baby boy with whom I fell head over heels in love. I love my siblings but I never enjoyed caring for them like I did my own little son. If one child could make me so happy I figured the more the merrier, and we had a girl and two more sons in quick succession.

Middle Son is a typical middle child, always elbowing his way through life to make sure he doesn't get left out. He is a late-blooming tennis player and we are very proud of his amazing improvement this year over last. I go to all his home games but some of his away games are over a half hour's drive away in rush hour traffic. I never get to watch the whole thing, since they start before I finish work, so I don't go.

"Mom do you want to hear a story?" Middle Son asked when he came home thrilled after "dominating" in his away game. "In the middle of my game I looked up and saw a red van. I thought 'Great, Mom's here!' But then after I won I realized it wasn't your van but one of my teammate's mom's and I was sad.'"

I won't miss another, that's for sure.

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